So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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