I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I'm always down for nudity.
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