okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
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