Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Randomize
