I bet he comes in French.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
