I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
