Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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