And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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