I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Randomize
