If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
