How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
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