coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
