big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
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His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
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I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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