we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
