he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
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She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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