You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
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