I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
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