Soap is not a condiment
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Randomize
