he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
