hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
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