my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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