you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
is it fun? or sober?
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
