i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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