Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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