I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
