is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
