Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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