I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Randomize
