What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
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The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
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i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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