So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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