I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
