Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
wakey wakey hands off snakey
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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