I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
