So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
