I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
