it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
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