YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
