My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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