your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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