So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Randomize
