It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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