I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
