we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Randomize
