$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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