That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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