We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize