i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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