i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
