Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
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