How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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