fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
