We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
