marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
your room smells of hookers.
And success
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Randomize
