Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Found the puke drawer
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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