I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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