I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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