He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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