i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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