I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
