I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
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