its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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