i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Randomize
