In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
