I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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