i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
