Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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