I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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