Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
